Why Do They All Love Me?

Because my existence is executed by being the most beneficial to theirs.

my best friend and i email each other

TO: MJ Slick

SENT: Wed May 13, 2009

FROM: Kira

i wrote it- but i can't get it right. My words make the concept so much less than what it is. I have no clue what to do- i feel like the less words i use the more meaningful the metaphore- but i need to explain the intricacies of these two subjects. And i don't even know if truely it's the errors of man that remind me of the desert, perhaps it's just the nature...any suggestions would be appreciated.

The errors of human nature remind me of the desert and it’s interaction with the rain. We deprive and harm our selves and others; which causes our soil to dry.

From there the scaring only grows and before we know it the moist soil is cracked and brittle. All we need is a little water, and things would be healthier, softer. Time wears on, the dirt only gets harder, and the moisture is out of sight. One day a cloud appears in the sky line and before we know it day is blackened by the promise of nutrients. And then it falls, the precious drops of water run to the ground to repair the tragedy that it has become. But the real tragedy is it’s too late. The damage has already been done and instead of the dirt becoming wet with joy it becomes flooded, as if it were holding a grudge.

We were starved for so long…and evolved into something else.

TO:Kira

SENT:Wed May 13th, 2009

FROM: MJ Slick

I really do love the metaphor. I think however, that the hard ground is just resistant... and water, being such a bearer of life, will permeate no matter what - in time. The dirt may be hardened but still needs and wants this water... sometimes drowning in another world is the only way to soften our own landscape.

EPOLOGUE

TO: MJ Slick

SENT: Thur May 14, 2009

FROM: Kira

Thank you- you reminded me of details i had pushed aside. I could however, debate with your statement that water will permeate with time- the desert doesn't get rain frequently enough for permeation to take place. But i see what you're saying and i truely appreciate your input.

Teusday Morning Blues

i wear a black skirt without panties.
>
i like the idea of easy access.
>
>
i think about the grains of sand
>
i let slip through my finger tips
>
>
they could have become glass.
>
>
pizza and beer at 11:00am
>
and Aerosmith continues to play
>
>
the fire in the living room cracks and roars.
>
>
i think of the man i could have had
>
dating 25 years past my 20
>
and i wonder what it would have been like.
>
>
i sit in bed sick as a dog
>
because love has forgotten me.
(3-31-09)

on life pt I

Every waking moment
I lose a little more of myself.

And gain
A little more of this wretched world.
(4-4-09)

reflections on April 10th

A broken promise
Is more worthless
Than gilded shit.

the scientific method

We are all field researchers in the natural phenomena known as life. Our task is to go out and experiment (after forming some sort of hypothesis), take (mental) notes and construct them into a conscious form and report them to each other along with possible "solutions."

smirk

Just when you think you’re over your disability
It kisses your cheek to let you know it’s there.

Anxiety

I remember when I was a kid, 14 or so, I laughed at the idea someone could have anxiety as a disorder. 6 years later I’m near tears realizing it’s true.

just like John Coffey

An other one told me he hurts today. He has no desire to live.
His heart was broken, his blood was frozen-
He has nothing left to give.



I'm sick of seeing
all these people
with pain.

Passion has left them, life has grown dim.
They see no self worth, no bright side.
They awake everyday in hopes of death's grace.

And every time my heart bleeds tears as do my eyes.
I feel the dark they have inside.
I want to replace it with colors.
But i can't.
And that hurts just as bad.

Scar tissue is too thick to rip through-
And people are too evil to prevent it from happening again.

just for today

i was asked how i was doing today.
i responded:
"Eh, alright. Not glorious but not apocalyptic-"

i sure am glad i realized that for today.

Google "guitar" images...it's pathetic

i FUCKING HATE guitar hero.